Zone of the Excel!
by super-calisto
Summary: Excel saga meets zone of the enders. Crazy things and god knows what else goes on in this fic. Hail lord ILPALAZO


Discliamer:  
  
"I Koshi Rikido pledge that in the event Excel saga is made into a fanfiction I will give the wirter full control of the use/misuse of it's content and regardless of how the finished product turns out, I will not take any form of action such as complain, protest or sue!"  
  
*stamp!* Koshi Rikido! (and neither of us own Zone of the Enders)  
  
Hello everyone! How are you today? I am very well!  
  
I live a life of writing and not writing and when I don't like what I write I hit my head against the desk and delete it!!!  
  
So here is the result of watching Excel saga and other manga non-stop for two days!  
  
Hail Ilpalazo!  
  
Zone of the Excel!  
  
By the OnlyOneKnobi!  
  
In a underground place in the city of F two young women stand before a throne!  
  
They are Excel and Hyatt!  
  
They are eilte!  
  
They are loyal!  
  
They haven't paid the rent in two months and ten days!  
  
They are the soul members of the secret organisation of ACROSS!  
  
They serve ACROSS and it's leader's great vision!  
  
A vision of peace!  
  
Of a united people!  
  
Of a panda in every garage!  
  
Of total conquest of the city! Followed by the world!  
  
Upon the throne is a man!  
  
The leader of ACROSS!  
  
The awe insipiring, powerful, graceful,   
  
LORD ILPALAZO!  
  
And so my good reader begins city conquest plan number #33221!  
  
"Haiiiiiil Ilpalazo!" Excel and Hyatt cried clicking their heels together, the ACROSS music started to play.  
  
"Good morning girls and how are you today?" Illpalazo said dryly.  
  
"Well sir! Excel and Hat-chan have very exciting news!" Excel exclaimed.  
  
"Hmm? And what would that be?"   
  
"Tell him Hat-chan!" Excel nuddged Hyatt.  
  
"Well sir, it would appear that our antics have been noticed by an entity called TheOnlyOneKnobi and he has put us into a fanfiction. It's very worrying." Hyatt told him in her normal death whisper.  
  
"Hmm, I will take note of this information and analysie it later, until then....." He threw some photos at their feet, Excel picked them up, a large shadowy figure could be made out.  
  
"Wh-what are they sir?" Hyatt asked.  
  
"The subject for your latest mission, city conquest plan number #33221, I have reason to belive that a new weapon has been built by the current government and will be sent to mars via the space elevator...."  
  
"Space elevator? But th-theirs no such thing! Is there?" Excel asked confused.  
  
"More evidence we're in a fan fic?" Suggested Hyatt.  
  
"In any case a weapon of such power cannot fall into the hands of our enemies, your mission ....... is to capture this weapon for ACROSS or destroy it if you can not do so." A screen decended from the ceiling, a map of a millatry base was projected onto it.  
  
"This base is your target, security will be tight and other attempts to take it have mean that a covert mission is impossible, thus I charge you with the mission of storming the base and fighting your way to the point the target is stored." As he said this a red circle was made on the map.  
  
"What kind of weapon is it? Lord Ilpalazo?" Hyatt asked.  
  
"Ah! A brillant question agent Hyatt as usal! (Excel: "Hey!") But my sources haven't been able to gain such info, so it's quite a mystrey." Excel's face dropped.  
  
"Oh why oh why! Why does Hat-Chan always get the praise I want! Oh Lord Ilpalazo! Why do you insist on being so nice to Hyatt when Excel is the senior member and hasn't been late for the past three meetings! It's not as if you-" As Excel launched head long into a monolog and Hyatt collpased from blood loss, Lord Ilpalazo's rope decended from the cieling.  
  
"Woh! Sir what are you gonna do with that?!?!" Excel asked stunned.   
  
"I wish you luck agents!" And with that he yanked the rope plunging them into the pit.  
  
"Oh no I'm falllllllllling!" Excel cried.  
  
"Me toooooo!" Hyatt cried falling after.  
  
"Pocahuntis! Erm! I mean, Geronimoe!" Excel screamed beofore hitting the floor.   
  
"That was smooth!" She leaped up and took a look around, she was in some sort of armoury with guns and stuff on the walls, shortly later Hyatt landed near by.  
  
"Wh-where are we senior?" Hyatt asked as she picked herself up.  
  
"It would appear that Lord Ilapalzo has sent us here to equip our selves for the mission!" She looked down at her self and Hyatt, they had changed into fatigues during the fall. "It would also appear we changed clothes en route!"  
  
Excel picked a cross bow off the wall and began looking it over.  
  
"But senior, this mission could prove more than we can handle, we can't do it alone." Hyatt suggested.  
  
"So what should we do Hat-Chan?" Excel whined looking down the sight of the cross bow.  
  
"We need to enlist the help of others I'm afraid Senior Excel."   
  
"But who we could call on who wouldn't jepordise the ideals of ACROSS?" Excel began to polish the crossbow.  
  
"Well senior, I'm sure there's a whole cast of people willing to help *click!*" As Hyatt spoke the crossbow went off, striking Hyatt right between the eyes!  
  
"HAT-CHAAAAAAN!" Excel screamed heartrendingly, she dropped the cross bow.  
  
"Oh-no! I killed her! Come help me great will of the Macro-Cosom!" She cried, a woman's voice like when you dial the wrong number replied.  
  
"We're sorry, but the great will of the Macro-Cosom is not availble in this fan fiction, if you require assistance, please call apon the author. "  
  
"The author of this fan fiction eh?" She thought a moment.  
  
"Come help me Only One Knobi!" She cried, suddenly a beam of light shone down from above and a guy in robes with paper wings and a tin foil halo decended on a rope, which snapped.  
  
"Bastards," He muttered. "Thanks for the easy landing guys!" He yelled at the cieling then brushed himeslef down and ajusted the halo.  
  
"Are you the Only One Knobi?" Excel asked in awe. (it's my fan fic she'll be in awe of me and like it!)  
  
"Yes ....... my child, and using my great powers I will start the story over again! Here we go!"  
  
He thrust his arms out and concentrated.  
  
Nothing happened.  
  
"Are you sure you can-" Excel began.  
  
"Hold .... on ....... it's ... coming!" He said, sweat beading on his fore head.  
  
"Almost .... got .. it!"He growled, then yelled in surprise.  
  
"That did it!"  
  
*shwop!* *ping!*   
  
"Now, you all know why your here, so we'll skip any lengthy breifing and get on with the establishing secene." Excel said to her team, during the reset various characters had been put into the room and drafted into tempary ACROSS service, now they sat around a map on a table in the armoury.   
  
"Cheif combatant! Menchi!"   
  
"Yip!" Menchi raised a paw.  
  
"Demolishtion and genral exsplosion expert! Nabeshin!"  
  
"A strike on a milatry base with only 8 people huh? I'm in!" Nabeshin sat with his legs on the table.  
  
"Wandering soul and spanish translatetor! Pedro!"  
  
"Please! Let Pedro rest in peace!" Pedro floated their with tears like water falls.  
  
"Cannon fodder! Excel Kobiashi and Mikao Hyatt!"  
  
"Thank you Excel you old hack! Please buy our album!" Their song began to play in the back ground.  
  
"Black mage! Mr. Aseop!"  
  
"OH! It-it's big! Wah! Some one shoot me!" As you can tell, he's on the toilet.  
  
"You serious?" Nabeshin raised a gun to Mr. Aseop's head.  
  
"No! We need him Nabeshin!" Excel said snatching the gun from his hand.  
  
"Now the plan to storm the base is to strike the west wall," Excel unrolled a map and put it on the table.  
  
"Mikao and Kobiashi will go around to the east wall and begin to do a live concert and thus, discracte the guards, mean while team B (that's every one else) will make an attack on the west wall, there's no actual reason we're concentrating on the west wall but it's as good as place as any, now suit up! We attack at zero hundrad hours!"   
  
Meanwhile in the government main office!  
  
Sumoyoshi, Watanbe, Iwata and Matsua sat at desks, doing mind dulling office work, then, the door burst open.  
  
"Hello young freinds! Are you enjoying your work?" Kabapu burst into the office.  
  
"Sir, you've given us office work again, it's so mind numbing something Iwata said made sense the other day!" Watanbe moaned.  
  
"Yes, I have to go with Watanabe on this one sir, this work is nothing like the training we recived." Matsua agreed.  
  
"Well then! How would you like to represent the department of security in a simple escort duty?"  
  
"Hmm? Escort duty?" Iwata asked.  
  
"Isn't this rather sudden?" Sumoyoshi asked.  
  
"A local milatry base requires more guards to help deliver a top secret weapon to the space elevator." Kabapu explained and pointed out the window.  
  
"Space elevator?" Watanabe looked out the window, a huge pillar reached toward the sky punching the face of god.  
  
"Where did that come from?!?!" He cried in cofusion.  
  
"It's vital to the storyline." A voice said from no where.  
  
"Who said that?"   
  
"You are to report to the milatry base for further breifing." Kabapu told them,  
  
"Oh, and don't forget your uniforms!"  
  
Later at the milatry base!  
  
Iwata, Sumoyoshi, Watanbe, Matsua and another stood in a large hanger, the base was huge with massive corridors and over head walkways.  
  
"So, you wimps are the reinforcements from the department of security! I nearly mistook you for girl scouts, but they don't wear such tight totally revealing body suits that don't look good on guys!" The commander/cheif/head of the milatry base who looked like the genrral out of episode 3 spat down their ears.  
  
"No very freindly is he?" Sumoyoshi wrote.  
  
"Shut it lard ass! Your mission is very simple, you just have to baby sit while I'm gone, can you primates do that?" The commander/cheif/head of the milatry base slobbered a rain of spit down their ears, Matsua raised her hand.  
  
"Sir, if I may be so bold, what is it that we're guarding?" Matsua asked formally.  
  
"That's none of your consern," He said brushing the question aside.  
  
"All you need to know is that if it fell into another's hands, you may as well shoot your self now, because when I'M done with you you'll be wishing I'd never been born, also, I must leave the base and take four fiths of the men posted here to begin prepration for the convoy tomorrow."  
  
"Are you saying we'll be left in an under staffed base?" Watanabe exclaimed.  
  
"Yes, thus making it, ironicly, a perfect time to attack, however we have one weapon the enemy will not." The commander/cheif/head of the base pressed a button opening huge doors revealing a group L.E.V.s  
  
"What the hell is that thing!" Cried Iwata in surprise.  
  
"It's an L.E.V., a Laborious Extra-orbital Vehicle, you each will be piloting one in order to protect the Isis unit."  
  
"Isis unit? Is that what we're protecting? Some sort of advanced version of these silly robot things?" Matsua asked pointedly.  
  
"Wah? How did you guess?" The commander/cheif/head of the milatry base began to sweat.  
  
"Ahem, I mean, I have no idea what your on about! The users manual is under the seat. Now if there are no more questions!" He shot out the door and jumped in a tank.  
  
"Let's get outta here boys!" And as he said this an entire convoy of trucks, tanks and jeeps rolled out of the base.  
  
"He sure was in a hurry!" Iwata said.  
  
"Gentlemen, I have the feeling we've been given a fool's errand." Matsua pointed out.  
  
"It's gonna be a looong night." Watanabe sighed.  
  
"Well if we get to use these great big robot thingies then who the heck cares!" Iwata said as he climbed into a L.E.V. suit.  
  
"Iwata! You don't even know how to work that thing!" Watanabe screamed.  
  
"Oh relax! What could happen?" Iwata began pressing buttons, it lurched forward a step and raised the gun.   
  
"It's just like a video game!" Iwata said as he swung the huge machine gun around.  
  
"AHH! Be careful with that stupid thing!" Watanabe cried growing even more worried.   
  
"Well if Iwata can pliot one." Matsua said climbing into her own.  
  
"No kiddin'." Sumoyoshi *said*, (wrote, whatever) also getting into one.  
  
"Wha-what the hell are you doing!" Watanabe exclaimed still standing on the ground.  
  
"Come on, gentlemen we have a job to do!" Matsua said heading towards the exit.  
  
"Wait for meeeee!" Watanabe leaped into a suit and began chasing them before they dissappeared.  
  
"*phsst* Are you in position Excel girls?" Excel said down the two way radio.  
  
"*phsst* Roger, ready when you are Excel!" The replie came.  
  
"Hey boss lady, what's the plan?" Nabeshin asked, he sat in the bushes with the others outside the base, it was the dead of night and a chain link fence surrounded it with guards patrolling it regulary.  
  
"It's very simple, the Excel Girls are on the other side of the base," Excel began.  
  
"Why?"   
  
"LET ME FINISH!" Excel yelled, "On the other side of the base they'll preform a concert to distract the guards, then we'll use the distraction to break in and take the target!"  
  
"What is the target?" Mr Aseop asked.  
  
"Now how the hell should I know!" The team collapsed.  
  
"Now shut up! Iiiiiiiit's go time!" She grabbed the radio.   
  
"Noooooow!"  
  
"Roger!" Kobiashi cried, she and Mikao stood on a big stage on the other side of the base ontop of a hill.  
  
"Th-this is it! Our big break!" Kobiashi stuttered with excitement.  
  
"Hit it!"  
  
"Sore wa ai ja nai,  
  
Ai wa sore ja nai,  
  
Aishite iru kedo aisarete wa inai!"  
  
"Hmm? Hey what's that?" A passing guard asked.  
  
"Sounds like it's coming from over there!" Another said pointing to the east.  
  
"Kesshite ai ja nai,  
  
Ketsu wa ai jai nai,  
  
Aisaretai keredo motometari wa shinai,"  
  
"Hey look it's a concert!" Now more and more guards were leaving their posts to gawk.  
  
"Kono mi sasagete inochi nagedashi,  
  
Wakime mo furazu tada hitasura ni,  
  
Damashite sukashite yokohairi,  
  
Tanin o fumitaoshi keri o kamashite!"  
  
Now the whole base was watching.  
  
"This concert's just for you guys at the F city milatry base! So please listen with your ears to Love Loalty" The girls called.  
  
"Tonzura koite!  
  
Tonzura koite!  
  
Tonzura koite!  
  
Tonzura koite!"  
  
"That's the signal! Let's go!" Excel and team broke from the bushes and sneaked up to the fence.  
  
"Who's got the wire cutters?" Nabeshin held out a hand, they all looked blank.  
  
"C'mon wire cutters! How do ya expact to get through this fence without wire cutters?" Nabeshin was getting irratated.   
  
"Couldn't we just climb it?" Hyatt asked.  
  
"And what if it's electric Miss Martain Princess?" As he spoke Excel began to climb over (unhurt!).  
  
"Nope it's too much of a risk, if we don't have wire cutters we'll have to imporvise! If I take off my shoe..."  
  
As Nabeshin began explaining his plan Excel walked over to the gate and opened it from the inside.  
  
"C'mon let's go." She waved them in, Hyatt stopped and looked at Nabeshin, who was still trying to bypass the fence with his shoes.  
  
"Ah just leave him there, he'll catch up! Onwards!"   
  
"Wha! It's like a maze in here!"   
  
Excel and the team stood in a huge hall, in side the base, pipes and wires ran along the walls and three paths set off in different dierections and a map of the base was before them.  
  
"Excel can't read this stupid map!"  
  
"Perhaps we could split up and go down each one? Senior?"  
  
"Hmm, OK! Hat-chan! You and Menchi go down the right hand path, Mr Pedro and Mr Aseop take the left hand one!  
  
And I Excel shall follow the middle path! Let's go!" Excel ran down the middle path and the others went down theirs.  
  
"Where the hell are all the guards!" Watanabe asked, he and the others were watching the intruders on their H.U.D.s in their L.E.V.s  
  
"It looks like they all left." Sumoyoshi wrote.  
  
"You mean we're all alone!?!"   
  
"Allright! This my chance to show off!" Iwata grinned.  
  
"How many are there anyway?" Watanabe asked  
  
"They've split into four groups, two groups of two and two people by themselves." Matsua told him.  
  
"I guess we should each split up and go after them separetaly." Sumoyoshi suggested.  
  
"Well I'm taking the one out side!" Iwata climbed into the luanch bay.  
  
"Launch me!" Iwata called.  
  
"We don't know how!" Watanabe excalimed.  
  
"Then I'll launch manually!" Iwata began running.  
  
"What does that mean?" Sumoyoshi asked.  
  
"He's gonna run off the end of the platform." Watanabe said making a face.  
  
"For justice!" Iwata disappeared from sight.  
  
"I'm going to take the one headed down the middle path." Matsua began walking down her deployment shute, then paused and turned. "Gentlemen, good luck."  
  
As she left Sumoyoshi wrote.  
  
"I'll take the left hand path, stay in touch." He too left, Watanbe looked at his.  
  
"Here goes." Watanabe climbed in his shute, slipped and fell screaming.  
  
"Oh! SHI-"  
  
Nabeshin has at this very moment figured out how to get through the fence with just his shoes and a stick of dymanite, now he stands cluelessly as he looks for the others.  
  
"Hey! Where did they go?" Instantly his overactive imagination began working.  
  
"They must of been captured! And it's up to me to save them from all kinds of horrible things!"  
  
There was a rumble.  
  
"Hey what was that?" He whipped around, behind him a crack had formed in the ground.  
  
"Huh what's that?" He stepped closer, there was another rumble and the crack grew wider.  
  
"This doesn't look good!" He stepped back and fell on his ass, there was a huge shudder as the ground tore open, from the hole a huge meatal hand gripped the edge followed by another, then the L.E.V. pulled it self up.  
  
"Wow! That was some ride!" Came a voice from inside, Nabeshin stepped forward.  
  
"Where are you? Who are the others?" He demanded.  
  
"Who am I? Uh," Iwata tried to think of a cool thing to say. "I'm a warrior of justice! And as for your freinds I won't ever tell you even in a million years! Nah!" Iwata stuck his tounge out not realising Nabeshin couldn't see him.  
  
"Enough words! The time to fight has come!" Nabeshin whipped out dual M2 Brownings and charged!  
  
"Yaaaaaaaaaaah!"  
  
Iwata charged!  
  
"Haaaaaaaaaaaa!"   
  
"We're lost aren't we?" Mr Pedro accused as they walked down a huge corridor identical to the last.  
  
"No .............. I've mearly lost my bearings." Mr Aseop said, his eye twitched, Mr Pe floated in front of him and look him in the eye.  
  
"Yes you are, admit it! We've only been here ten minutes and we're lost! If Pedro had been put in charge!"  
  
"Oh? You think you could do better? Oh wait you can't! You don't have physical form!"  
  
"Pedro could kick your inflambed ass any day!"  
  
"Bring on no body!"  
  
As the two argued Sumoyoshi had snuck up on them, choosing this as a good time to jump them he came out gun raised and issued a warning.  
  
"Put your hands up and come quitely!"   
  
"You be quite! We're talking here!" Mr Pe and Mr Aseop yelled together, Sumoyoshi was shocked, he expected a better reaction.  
  
"If you don't give yourselves up then I will have to use force." He wrote recovering.  
  
"You want a fight Pedro give you one!"  
  
"Engough words! The time to fight has come!"  
  
Pedro and Aseop charged!  
  
"Ataaaaack!"   
  
Sumoyoshi charged!  
  
"Aaaaaah."  
  
Back to Iwata and Nabeshin!  
  
Currently they are spraying bullets randomly at each other not really doing much damge.  
  
"Damn it! I can't hit him with this huge gun!" Iwata dropped his big gun.  
  
"It's time to go Hand to Hand!" He wipped out a even bigger curved sword that glowed at the edge.  
  
"SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP!" Nabeshin cried diving for cover, Iwata swung and missed by a narrow gap.  
  
"Ha ha ha! I'm wining!" Iwata exclaimed in triumph.  
  
"Guess again!" Nabeshin stood on a roof with a pair of RPGs aimed at Iwata!  
  
"Your not dead?" Iwata cried, Nabeshin unleashed two rockets right at the L.E.V.s head, the explosion was massive and would of cost tons of money to produce in a film.  
  
"Hey I can't see!" Nabeshin did a surprise double take as the smoke settled and Iwata's L.E.V. stumbled blindly.  
  
"Your alive!YOUR ALIVE! " Nabeshin was shocked, sure he had finished him off, the cockpit opened (it's between the legs for those that don't know) revealing Iwata.  
  
"Well of course I'm alive! But you trashed my sensors! Die!" Iwata swung the blade again but Nabeshin leaped out of the way.  
  
"I don't have any RPGs left, the only chance I have left is....."  
  
"I'm gonna finish you!" Iwata cried raising the sword for a finishing blow!  
  
"NABESHIN TICKLE ATTACK!!!"  
  
Meanwhile Hyatt was!  
  
"Oh dear, I seem to have lost Miss Menchi." There was a crash and the sound of bullets. "It seems the fighting has started, I hope every one is okay, I wonder where this goes-uh!" Hyatt stopped and fell to one knee.  
  
"No, not now I can't die now! Th-the mission...... I must urk!" Hyatt collpased onto the floor as blood pooled around her.  
  
"N-no! I can't die!" The blood flowed back into her and she sat up. "*cough!cough!* I must finish the mission!"  
  
She stood up swaying and began walking again.  
  
"I've been searching for 15 minutes and no sign of them, I'm starting to think old Kabapu's gone nuts." Watanabe stopped and then said. "And who am I talking to?"  
  
There was the roar of an explosion then silence, Watanabe spun around.  
  
"What was that!" A quite beeping caught his attention. "What's that?" On his controls something was flashing.  
  
"Huh? What's that?" Watanabe pressed a button. "Hey, something's moving towards me!"  
  
He looked at his main veiwer, leaning heavily against a wall was Hyatt.  
  
"MISS AYASUGAI!" Cried Watanabe, he wanted to help her but...... "Wait! If she sees me here then she'll think I'm a soldier and I'll ruin my image with her!" He looked at her, so in need of help! So fragile! So beautiful!  
  
"Wh-what can I do? Why is she here? Why am I here? I want to help her but......."  
  
Hyatt tried to walk another few feet then collapsed.  
  
"I-I'll put her some where safe." Watanbe decided, "That way I can help! But not risk any thing!"  
  
Over to Sumoyoshi, Mr Pe and Mr Aseop!  
  
"Mr Aseop! Pedro is in ethral form! He cannot touch him!" Pedro called to Aseop.  
  
"Don't worry Pedro! Every base ball team needs cheerleaders!" Mr Aseop told him.  
  
"Wh-what? Pedro does not understand. He understands not!"   
  
"Put this on!" There was a rustle of clothes and Pedro came out wearing a mini skirt and pom-poms.  
  
"Now! Cheer Pedro! CHEER!"   
  
"As soon as Pedro is human again, he will kill you!"  
  
"Right!" Mr Aseop began to chant. "Lucky spell! Lucky spell! As hot as the fires of hell!" (I got the idea for this spell off of shadow skill)   
  
As Mr Aseop's spell finished a huge ball of fire smacked Sumoyoshi's L.E.V. in the arm, he responded with a burst of bullets.  
  
"Lucky spell! Lucky spell! I call apon the-AH!" Before Mr. Aseop could finish Sumoyoshi began shooting at him.  
  
"I'm not gonna give you the chance to do that again!" Sumoyoshi wrote.  
  
"Mr. Aseop! Pedro thinks you should try to out think him! Use your enviroment!"   
  
"Right!" Mr Aseop looked around, they were in a fairly plain and empty corridor, the wires and pipes that were normally entwined on the wall weren't evident here, a few walkways crossed over head.  
  
"That's it!" Aseop turned his attention to the walkway, then said to Sumoyoshi.  
  
"Come on then you fat bastard!"  
  
"I'm not fat! I'm glanguler!" Sumoyoshi wrote furiously, he raised the gun.  
  
"Lucky charm! Lucky charm! Center me, bring me calm!" As the spell took affect it all went bullet time, bullets winged slowly by with a mournful hum, Mr Aseop dodged them and took out a base bat and ball.  
  
"Here's the pitch!" He threw the ball in the air, bullets buzzed past, as he struck the ball time returned to normal, the ball travled with amazing speed and smashed into a walkway.  
  
"It's a strike!" Mr Pe cheered as the walkway fell onto sumoyoshi in a blast of twisted meatal and dust.  
  
"Yourrrrrrrr out!" Growled Mr Aseop, but as the dust settled.  
  
"H-he's! He's alive!" Mr Pe cried, Sumoyoshi's L.E.V. stepped out of the dust, missing an (robotic) arm but otherwise unhurt.  
  
"Im-impossible!" Exclaimed Mr Aseop.  
  
"She'll be safe here." Watanbe said as he put Hyatt down, "This seems like a safe place."  
  
He was in a storage room of some kind near the middle of the complex, there was a crackle then Sumoyoshi's face appeared on screen, the signal was poor beacause it kept fuzzing up.  
  
"Watanbe *crackle* need *fzzt* help in section *buzz* 8b quickly!" There was the sound of gun shots then the transmition ended.  
  
"SUMOYOSHI!!" Cried Watanbe, he turned to Hyatt and said. "Good bye ....... my sweet." Then he ran out.  
  
"I'm coming Sumoyoshi, hold on!"  
  
I bet you've been wondering what's been happening to Excel?   
  
Am I right?  
  
Of course I am!  
  
Shall I tell you?  
  
Should I?  
  
Ok I will!  
  
Ready?   
  
Here it comes!  
  
"Oh! Excel is lost and hungry!" Excel was lost and hungry, "And why has every one else been on more than me!" she had been wandering for twenty minutes now and hadn't seen a thing other than corridor, however as she thought this she entered a big hanger.  
  
"Hmm what's this?" She looked around, it was fairly empty in there but she had a bad feeling.  
  
"Excel has a bad feeling about this place!*slam!* Eeep!" The huge metal bulkheads had slammed closed except one and there stood the imposing sight of Matsua's L.E.V.!  
  
"Give your self up intruder! There's no escape!" Excel spun around to face her opponent.  
  
"As you can see there is no exit," As Matsua said this she stepped fully into the hanger and the door slammed closed behind her. "Give your self up or you'll have to fight me!"  
  
"Coward!" Excel cried pointing at Matsua. "Only a coward would use such a machine beacause true worriors don't need such things! Excel shall prove her point by destroying your robot suit bear handed!"  
  
"You-you'll what!?!" Matsua said shocked.  
  
"EXCEL CHOP!" There was a filcker of movement then Excel dissappeared.  
  
"Where'd she go?" Alarms began going off in the L.E.V. "Huh? I've been damaged? Power supply going critical?" The screen changed to a behind view, Excel stood arm raised as if she had done a chop, the L.E.V. began to spark and crackle it began to glow getting ever brighter until it exsploded.  
  
"You see! Excel was able to destroy it in one blow beacause she is strong and only the weak would use such a thing!" Excel began walking towards an exit saying. "And now on with my mission!"  
  
"Not so fast miss!"  
  
"Wha?" Excel turned around in shock. "Excel surprise triple take!"  
  
Matsua stood boldly on the ruins of the L.E.V.   
  
"You were right about only the weak would use such a thing! And it feels good to be back on foot!"  
  
"Y-your alive!"  
  
"Yes, you were stronger than I thought and I made a mistake however now I can fight you on even terms!"  
  
"So, at last Excel has found a worthy opponent! This will be ledegndry!"  
  
"Enough words! It's time to fight!" Matsua took the "southern fist" martial arts stance.  
  
"EXCEL CHOP!"  
  
"Dragon fist!"   
  
Their attacks clashed and both fighters were thrown into the walls.  
  
"Impressive!" Excel said standing back up.   
  
"However can you defend my EXCEL KICK!" Excel did a flying kick to Matsua, but Matsua managed to catch the blow on her arm, they struggled for a second before Excel jumped to her feet again.  
  
"You blocked me! Excel is amazed!"   
  
Matsua began to advance in reay for her attack.  
  
"Yes, although it was a bit close for my liking back their!" She took the "mantis" stance.   
  
"Now it's my turn! Rising sun strike!"   
  
Matsua swepted forwards, jumped and aimed a double kick to Excel's head, increadabley Excel tucked under the blow and doged it.  
  
"You doged my attack! This fight will be interesting!"  
  
Over to Hyatt, she's just regained consciousness and wondering where she is.  
  
"I wonder where I am?" See? Told ya!  
  
"Exscuse me but may I ask-" Said a young girl's voice from some where.  
  
"Oh my! I thought I was alone!" Hatt said shocked.  
  
"I'm sorry to have startled you," A large pink L.E.V. with long slender limbs a cat like face and little ears like Ropponmatsu (Number 2).  
  
"My name's Dolores." Dolores curtised.  
  
"It's nice to meet you Miss Dolores, my name is Hyatt." Hyatt paused then said.  
  
"May I ask, if I may, what you are?"  
  
"Oh! I'm an Orbital Frame!"  
  
"What is an Orbital Frame?"  
  
"I am!"  
  
"I see....." Hyatt didn't understand.  
  
"Would you happen to know my sir uncle?" Dolores asked.  
  
"Your ...... sir uncle?"  
  
"Yes, his name is James Links, have you met him? I'm meant to find him you see and I've no clue where he is or where I am!"  
  
"I'm sorry miss Dolores but I haven't met him, perhaps he's a soldier here, maybe you should wait here for him."  
  
"Maybe....." Dolores said uncertainly.  
  
"I'm sorry I can't help you more but I'm on a very important mission for Lord Ilpalazo and must be on my way."  
  
"Okay, thank you Miss Hyatt, goodbye! Nice meeting you!"  
  
"Nice meeting you miss Dolores, goodbye! I hope you find what your looking for."  
  
"Thanks you too!"  
  
Hyatt left the storage area and stopped out side a door marked: "Base controls."  
  
"Hmm? What's this?"  
  
"AH HA HA HA HA HEE HEE HEE STOP THAT! HEE!" Cried Iwata as Nabeshin tickled him furiously, the L.E.V. thrashed as Iwata squirmed.  
  
"Do you surrender?" Demanded Nabeshin.  
  
"Ha ha aha ha! N-never! Hee hee!"  
  
"Are you sure? Coochie coochie coo!"   
  
Nabeshin tickled harder and Iwata's hand shot out grabbing the controls, the L.E.V. lurched forward and raised the sword above it's head.  
  
"Submit to my tourture!"  
  
"Oh ha ha ha aha ha! Y-you can't ha break me!"  
  
As Iwata squirmed more the L.E.V. turned and faced a group of fuel tanks.  
  
"Ha ha hee! You will never get me to surrender! HA HA HA!"  
  
"That sounds like a challange!"  
  
With that Iwata's foot hit a lever that brought the sword down on the tanks, they exploaded with amazing force sending the L.E.V. flying, the L.E.V. landed heavily in the forest out side the base, the fire began to spread to the rest of the base.  
  
"Oh no! Matsua! And the others! I have to warn them!" Iwata cried, he activated the inter-com and tried to contact Matsua.  
  
"Misakai! Misaki! Can you hear me? The base is on fire!" There was no responce.   
  
"Damn it!" He muttered, "I can't get hold of her!"  
  
He changed channels.  
  
"Watanabe! Come in Watanabe!"   
  
Watanabe look around, trying to figure out where Iwata's voice was coming from, then Iwata's face appeared on screen.  
  
"Iwata! What's wrong? I'm trying to find Sumoyoshi! He's in trouble!"   
  
"You'd better find him soon! And Matsua! I tried to contact her first but she didn't reply! I'm worried!"  
  
"Wait slow down! What's wrong!"  
  
"One of the intruders attacked me and destroyed some fuel tanks! The base is on fire!"  
  
"Oh crap! That's bad! Do you know where the others are?"  
  
"I can see Sumoyoshi on the map but not Matsua! I thinks she's in trouble!"  
  
"I'll get Sumoyoshi you get Matsua!"  
  
"I can't! My L.E.V. s smashed and can't move! You have to save her Watanabe! You have to!"  
  
"Damn it! Show me Sumoyoshi and I'll try to find Matsua!"  
  
"I'm sending his location now!"  
  
"Right! I've got it! Watanabe out!"  
  
Iwata sighed and got out of the smashed L.E.V. , Nabeshin stood near by looking at the burning building, the fire had spread quickly and a third of the base burned.  
  
"Mi-sa-ki." Iwata said gently.  
  
Inside the control room alarms were going off and red lights flashed.  
  
"Oh my! A fire!" Hyatt watched on a video screen as the fire spread through the base, more fuel and weapon stores were caught up in the blaze and explosions shook the base.  
  
"This could prove most dangerous, the base must be evacuated."  
  
Hyatt pressed a button and all the doors and bulk heads opened, then she activated the base alarms.  
  
"And now Hyatt should get to some where safe!"  
  
Hyatt ran out of the room.  
  
Excel and Matsua panted with fatigue, they had been fighting for a long time now and they were clearly equal, now they each stood away, watching for an opening, suddenly the bulkheads opened and the alarm sounded and red lights began to flash.  
  
"What's going on?" Excel panted in shock.  
  
"That's the alarm, you've been caught!" Matsua panted as well, she grinned.  
  
"It's over!"  
  
"Not by a long shot! If I beat you then I can leave! The doors opened!"  
  
"Well, you can't win any way I have a secret weapon!" Matsua reached behind her back  
  
"Yeah? Well so does Excel!" Excel reached behind her back too.  
  
"HA!" Both ladies revealed a.......  
  
"PUCHUUUUUU!" Cried the Puchuus held by Matsua and Excel.  
  
"THEY'RE SO CUTE!" Exclaimed both the girls.  
  
"BUT WHO THE HECK CARES?!?!?!" Screamed Excel killing Matsua's Puchuu with a punch.  
  
"You break my face!" Growled the dying Puchuu.  
  
"And I don't really like cute!" Matsua said cooly as she sliced Excel's Puchuu in half with an axe.  
  
"So you've faced Puchuus as well have you?" Excel asked.  
  
"We had to exterminate a nest of them under the city." Matsua said raising her hands in the "snake in egeal's shadow" stance.  
  
"Then it's back to our stale mate! Huh?" Something caught Excel's eye.  
  
"Menchi!" Menchi froze, she thought that she had gotten away from then when she left Hyatt, Excel grabbed her and grinned.  
  
"Perfect timing Menchi!" She then spoke to Matsua.  
  
"It's time to end this my worthy adversy! It's time for the EXCEL FINISHING MOVE!"  
  
"Wha-?"  
  
Over at the Concert!  
  
"Kesshite ai ja nai,  
  
Ketsu wa ai jai nai,  
  
Aisaretai keredo motometari wa shinai,"  
  
"Hey it looks like the base is on fire!" One soldier commented.  
  
"So? Who cares? Hey baby get a load of this! Whooh!"   
  
"Watanbe where are you?" Sumoyoshi wrote darkly, he had been defending him self with only one arm for 30 minutes and was begining to weaken.  
  
"C'mon Mr Aseop! He's slowing down! Finish it!" Mr Pe called from the side of the battle feild, Mr Aseop however was also tiring.  
  
"I-I can't go on like this!*pant*" Mr Aseop raised his hands wearyily to cast another spell.  
  
"SUMOYOSHIIIIIIIIII!" They all turned around, Watanbe was running desperetly towards them.  
  
"SUMOYOSHI!" He ran up to Sumoyoshi and grabbed his remaining arm and pulled.  
  
"Come on! We gotta get out of here!"  
  
"Why?" Wrote Sumoyoshi worrying, Watanbe sounded desperet.  
  
"The base is on fire! Think! All that fuel and ammo is gonna blow any second! We've gotta run!"  
  
"The base is on fire?!?!" Cried Mr Aseop.  
  
"That's right! I don't care if you were fighting just RUN!"   
  
Watanbe grabbed Sumoyoshi and ran off to the dierection of the exit.  
  
"We've gotta get out!" Exclaimed Mr. Aseop.  
  
"You must run! Pedro is already dead, he can't be hurt be the flames."  
  
"B-but what-!"  
  
"Go now! Pedro will do what he can!"  
  
Mr Aseop ran, there was an explosion and the fire spread to this area, Pedro stood strong.  
  
"Oh wait! Pedro can't do any thing at all!!" Pedro stood uselessly as the flames rushed down the corridor.  
  
"MR ASEOP! WATCH OUT!"  
  
Mr Aseop ran with all his might, soon the exit was in sight when.....  
  
"OH! No! Not now!" He collapsed as his inflamed ass began to errupt, the flames drew closer.  
  
"No! I don't want to dieeeee!" The fire engulfed Mr. Aseop and he died a firey screaming death!  
  
"IWATA!"   
  
"WATANABE! SUMOYOSHI!"   
  
The guys drew together in a rare display of affection. (aww!)  
  
"I *sniff* thought you hadn't made it!" Iwata choked back a sob.  
  
"We're fine, buddy." Watanbe smiled.  
  
"Hey where's Miskai?" Asked Iwata.  
  
"What? Oh yeah, I guess she's still in there." They looked at the base, nearly the whole base was on fire and in places fuel and ammo exploaded.  
  
"YOU DIDN'T SAVE HER?!?!?!?" Screamed Iwata.  
  
"Well, I didn't see her on the way out, she msut be near the middle."  
  
"YOU BASTARD! I TRUSTED YOU!" Iwata ran up to Sumoyoshi. "LET ME IN! I'LL SAVE HER MYSELF!"  
  
Before he could write any thing Iwata threw Sumoyoshi out the L.E.V.  
  
"I'm coming Misaki!" Iwata dashed boldly into the flames, suddenly Watanbe remembered Hyatt.  
  
"Miss Ayasugai is still in there!" Watanbe ran in too.  
  
"Iwata wait! I'm coming too!"  
  
"Hello Mr Nabeshin."  
  
"Hyatt! You're here!" Nabeshin cried.  
  
"Pedro is here too."  
  
"Where's Mr Aseop?"  
  
"He did not make it and was consumed by the flames." Pedro said mournfully.  
  
"Oh dear!" Hyatt looked around. "Where are Miss Menchi and Senior Excel?"  
  
"They must still be in there!" Nabeshin exclaimed looking at the inferno.  
  
"Th-the Excel finishing move?" Matsua asked heistently.  
  
"That's right!" Excel threw Menchi at her. "GO MENCHI!!!!!!!"  
  
"Yooooooooow!" Cried Menchi as she flew through the air and grabbed onto Matsua's face.  
  
"AHH! Stupid mutt! I can't see!" Matsua stumbled blind.  
  
"Now! Time for! The EXCEL PITCH!"  
  
Excel got a wined up then pitched a bowling ball like a base ball at Matsua, the ball hurtled at it's target with reckless speed, it set on fire and struck it's target in a huge blast and lots of smoke! Menchi jumped from the blast and landed in Excel's waiting arms.  
  
"Ha ha ha! Excel wins!" Excel stood triumphantly.  
  
"N-not quite!"  
  
"SH-SH-SH-SH-SHOCK!"   
  
Matsua stood there clutching her side flinching.  
  
"How can this be? That was Excel's strongest attack!"  
  
"Maybe so but I doged it in the last second when I got that mutt of my face, it merely grazed my side!!"  
  
Excel sank to her knees.  
  
"Excel doesn't have the strength to fight on!"  
  
As she said this there was a massive explosion and part of the roof fell in, the fire that had so far not spread to here, swept the area surrounding them with flames and cutting off escape.  
  
"So that's why the alarms went off! There was a fire!" Matsua said angerily, "I bet Iwata has something to do with this!"  
  
"There's no escape! We're doomed! NOOOOOO!" Excel cried, "LORD ILPALAZO!"  
  
"Where is she?!?!" Watanbe panicked, Hyatt was nowhere to be seen and he had checked over twice.  
  
"Did she get out? Is she *ulp* dead?!?!"  
  
"C'mon Watanbe it's getting dangeous in here! We have to find Miskai!" Iwata yelled, Watanbe nodded, runnig through the flames they made there way to where Matsua's signal was last recorded.  
  
The base exploaded, fire and light leaped forward for an instant in a rush of noise followed by empty silence and the crackle of fire.  
  
"Senior didn't make it." Hyatt said shakily.  
  
"She was a good women, I will always think of her as a freind!" Mr Pe said.  
  
"A good freind and student." Nabeshin added.  
  
"Hey what's going on?"   
  
"What are you doing here Excel girls?" Hyatt asked.  
  
"Why! The Concert's over silly! Gee, you look as if some one just died!"  
  
"Senior Excel didn't make it out." Hyatt told them.  
  
"Oh well! It's not like she was that pretty or any thing!"  
  
"YOU HAVE CROSSED THE LINE EXCEL GIRLS!"   
  
"Huh?"  
  
On the top of a tree stood the Only One Knobu perfectly balanced, he jumped down his robes flaping and landed perfectly.  
  
"Excel was a sweet, kind, murderous young lady! How dare you insult her beauty! Begone with you!"  
  
And with a flick of his hand the Excel girls were thrown to the horizon.  
  
"Excel's good name is honoured!" He whispered.  
  
"If you like Excel so much why did you kill her?!?!" Yelled Nabeshin.  
  
"Did I Nabeshin? Did I?" As he said this the Only One Knobu faded away.  
  
They all stood there silently, each remembering Excel.  
  
"Hey guys what's the matter?"  
  
"Oh senior! It's so tragic! You just died in that fire!" Hyatt cried.  
  
"Oh really! The terrible! Poor me!" Hyatt looked up, there grinning was Excel!  
  
"Senior!"  
  
"Excel!"  
  
"Miss Excel!"  
  
"Did ya miss me?" Excel grinned more and Hyatt grabbed her in a surprisingly strong hug.  
  
"Oh! Oh senior! You're alive! Oh thank goodness!" Cried Hyatt, she looked up and said.  
  
"But how did you get out?"  
  
"Well just when I thought there was no hope.............."  
  
Flash back!   
  
Ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple!  
  
"We're going to die!" Cried Excel again.  
  
"I must admit it's looking pretty hopeless *sigh*." She looked at Excel.  
  
"You were a most worthy opponent, I've no doubt you would have been able to finish me off by now."  
  
"Gee thanks ..... I think."  
  
As they sat there waiting to die Matsua said.  
  
"At least tell me who you are."  
  
"My name is Ex-"  
  
"MISAKIIIIIIII!"  
  
Before Excel could finish Iwata ran in, piloting Sumoyoshi's L.E.V. with watanbe behind him.  
  
"Iwata! Watanbe!" Matsua stood up.  
  
"I've come to save you!" Iwata said boldly.  
  
"Well I can't say I really care for your timing, but late is better than never." Matsua stood up, Iwata lowered the cockpit to let her in, Matsua push him out of the cock pit.  
  
"Get in with Watanbe!" She commanded.  
  
"But I saved you!" Iwata said miserblely.  
  
"And I'll be sure to tell that to Kabapu when we get back, now move it!"  
  
Iwata climebed in with the unwilling Watanbe, Excel stood circled by flames.  
  
"Oh boy! Things don't look good! Is this the end of Excel?" She Exclaimed blowing at the fire.  
  
"Hey you!" Excel looked up, Matsua walked over and lowered the cockpit. "Get in!"  
  
"You mean it!" Excel said stunned.  
  
"Yeah no come on!"  
  
Excel climbed in and sat next to her.  
  
"Gentlemen let's go!"  
  
The base exploaded, leaping from the flames Matsua, Excel, Menchi, Iwata and Watanbe landed unharmed from the blaze outside, Excel stepped out of the L.E.V. and Matsua said to her.  
  
"You have earned my respect, I'll let you go this time, but I'm sure we'll meet again."  
  
"Hmm, I'll look forward to it!" Excel began to walk off into the distance.  
  
"And next time, I'll beat your Excel kick mysetry woman!" Matsua said to herself.  
  
"Why'd you let her go Matsua?" Watanbe asked frowning.  
  
"Because, she is a true warrior and has earned my respect. That's why!"  
  
"Have I earned your respect Miskai?" Asked Iwata keenly.  
  
"Iwata," Matsua's voice was thick with meance, Iwata cowered.  
  
"What have I told you about use my first name!"  
  
Matsua punched Iwata knocking him out cold.  
  
"Grab him, we've got a report to file."  
  
Ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple!  
  
"That flash back was unreasonably long!" Nabeshin commented sourly.  
  
"Well it doesn't matter," Excel said calmly, "You are dissmissed team."  
  
Mr Pe and Nabeshin wandered off leaving Excel and Hyatt alone in the forest.  
  
"C'mon Hat-chan, let's go home, have dinner and report this faliure to Lord Ilpalazo!" Excel said tiredly.  
  
"And a most exellent faliure at that senior! Let's go home!"  
  
The next morning at the apartment block.  
  
"I gotta know! I gotta know!" Watanbe walked up to Hyatt's and Excel's door. "I have to know if she's alive!"  
  
he went to knock on the door when it slammed open in his face making him fall down.  
  
"C'mon Hat-chan, we gotta go!"  
  
"Coming senior!"  
  
They walked over Watanbe with out noticing him, as they left he lay there for a long time beofre saying.  
  
"SHE WASN'T WEARING ANY PANTIES! WHOOOO!"  
  
The end! (for now! Muh ha ha ha!)  
  
The Only One Knobu survayed the scene below him from his vantage point on the top of a tree, the base was still burning and the fire department was only just arriving, three men would die putting out this fire he saw it.  
  
"*sigh* Come help me Great Will of the Macro Cosom!" He cried, Will-chan slide in frim the left.  
  
"Yes dear?"  
  
"Could you clear this up for me?" He sighed, "Being in charge of a story is a lot harder than I thought, can you take your old job back?"  
  
"Of course dear! But you really must learn to take care of thing your self! Here we go!"  
  
*shwop* *ping!*  
  
"Hey where am I?" Asked The Only One Knobu, two figures appeared before him.  
  
"Where was our bit?" Wailed one whiny girl voice.  
  
"If you do a Excel Saga about robots you should at least mention us!" Said one accuingly  
  
"ROPONMATSU! What are you doing here!" He cried.  
  
"You didn't include us!" The Roponmatsu yelled together.  
  
"Well I started writting before I saw that episode!"  
  
"You could of gone back and changed it! You lazy bum!"  
  
"I was too far in!"  
  
"Enough words! Time for you to die!"  
  
"WAHHHHHHA!  
  
The end, (for real this time)  
  
SPACE BUTLER SEZ! (okay I lied)  
  
"Hello I'm Space Butler and welcome to my new show!"  
  
Space Butler is sitting on a talk show set, their's a big neon sign with his name on it above the stage.  
  
"Tonight on Space Butler sez I have a very special first guest! Please welcome! SALIOR MOON!"  
  
Sailor Moon come down some steps to some music and applause and sits on a couch to the left of Space Butler.  
  
"It's great having you on the show tonight Miss Moon!"  
  
"It's great to be here Space Butler!"  
  
"So, Miss Moon, do you feel cheated by the fact that this Fan Fiction contained barely any Zone of the Enders material apart from the breif apperance of Dolores and the presece of L.E.V.s?"  
  
"I'm still having trouble understanding the idea of a Space Butler! *gigle* Space Butler!"  
  
"As you can see folks Miss Moon is a huge moron! Good night!"  
  
The end! (really!)  
  
Author's note!  
  
So what did ya'all think?  
  
Did you like it?  
  
If you did or you didn't you can contact me at ministeroftruelies@yahoo.com   
  
or   
  
super_calisto@hotmail.com ok? So tell me what I'm doing wrong/right please!  
  
And what about Space Butler sez? Did you like that? Tell me please!  
  
:-} 


End file.
